I was praying for menopause

I was praying for menopause

By Caitlin Grace

Menopause is a word that often stirs fear in a woman’s heart. Fear of aging. Fear of becoming obsolete and invisible. Fear of drying up in all aspects of life. A general and pervasive sense of fear of the unknown in this youth obsessed culture.

The trick is there is no clear time when you can say “I’m menopausal”. I lost count of the times I went to the doctors and listed all my symptoms only them to run tests and say. “You are nowhere near menopause”. Seriously, wtf was that all about? Hormone blood tests are a very blunt instrument for showing when you are moving into that transition phase of life, while saliva tests are far more accurate but you won’t get that at your local GP.

I suffered with heavy bleeding from the moment I had my tubes tied at 30 and anemia was a constant issue. At one stage my GP said, “I don’t know how you even get out of bed in the morning”. To be honest I don’t know how I did it either. By this stage I was in my mid-forties and praying for menopause to just make it all stop already. No such luck.

Eventually I got a Mirena fitted and my periods just stopped. Bliss! My iron levels went back up and I finally realised how much low iron had impacted my life. We have a 300metre driveway and walking down that would leave me feeling exhausted and ready for a nap, not to mention gasping for air. I thought I was just fat and unfit. Nope, low iron means low oxygen so you literally don’t have enough air in your body. After my iron levels returned to normal I could (and still do!) walk it with ease – no naps required.

Somewhere into my eighteen months with the Mirena I was told it had fallen out. I went for a scan and they couldn’t see it anywhere, so they said “Not to worry. It’s just fallen out” I still had no periods and thought that I must have passed through into menopause while I had the Mirena in. Wrong again. In fact the Mirena was still in which I only discovered when I had a week long period and went to get it checked out as bleeding after menopause is a danger sign. It turns out the Mirena was still in there and now they wanted to take it out to see why I had bled.

This is when all my troubles really began.

My doctor told me, again, that I was still nowhere near menopausal and my uterus was in fact , “quite fluffy”. By this stage I was close to fifty and had no other symptoms of menopause just (she laughs) heavy bleeding. Any woman who has experienced heavy bleeding knows how debilitating and limiting it can be. Their solution, oft repeated, was to do a hysterectomy as “You are past child bearing so you don’t need it anymore”. To be clear this was a healthy uterus – no fibroids, no tumours, no cysts, nothing – she just liked to bleed… a lot.

I am stubborn. I am also deeply attached to my body parts and I wasn’t about to discard this powerhouse from my body because she liked to bleed. Instead I went on a journey to find out what I could do to heal myself. Christiane Northrup’s book “The Wisdom of Menopause” was a godsend. She says heavy bleeding is leaking life force energy. She asks the question “Where are you giving away your creativity?” This was a lightbulb moment and I decided to finally finish writing and self-publish my own book “The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life”.

It was around this time (2012) that I started using a yoni egg and I believe this, along with other measures, was instrumental in getting my heavy bleeding under control. I ditched gluten and sugar (mostly) and added in more fermented foods including fermented cod liver oil (yes, it tastes disgusting but totally worth it for the vitamin a, d and k all of which are crucial to help with heavy bleeding).
I believe the yoni egg has meant that my emotional equilibrium has remained stable, I have had minimal hot flushes, no night sweats and minimal insomnia and what I have had has been easily solved with magnesium oil. My periods finally ended late last year and I feel the transition has been relatively smoothly. Menopause is one stage of life that we need to really look at all the ways we can nurture and support our body and I would love it if doctors offered more than just the “Let’s just take it out” approach when it comes to the uterus and heavy bleeding. We have much to learn in about the wisdom of the womb.

About Caitlin

Caitlin Grace is the author of “The Goddess Guide to Sex, Love and Life” a yoni egg coach and a self-love coach. She has been married, divorced and is now married to the love of her life for the past 25 years.

Caitlin’s mission is to help women better understand the importance of their pelvic floor and why it matters. As a yoni egg coach Caitlin helps women understand there is more to the yoni egg practice than maintaining the pelvic floor. It is also a practice in tuning in, becoming more deeply connected to your body and mindful of the way you interact with yourself. Caitlin can be found via her website

This article first appeared in Issue #8 of the Maga Woman Magazine. To read other articles like this one click HERE to subscribe